Monthly Archives: May 2012

Teaching our older children winning ways to say no to peers

The word no often seems to be one of the first words out of the mouths of young children. In fact, parents may hear the word no far earlier and far more often than they prefer.  But as children grow older and want to fit in and belong with other children, they may continue to say no to adults, but have increasing difficulty saying no to their peers.

Many young people feel tremendous peer pressure on a wide front.  That’s why saying no to their peers is not a simple matter for them.  They may fear that they will be rejected or branded in negative ways if they do.  As parents, teachers, and other caring adults we need to give students some strategies for saying no, and suggest appealing and convincing words they can use in the various situations they face.

First, capitalize on the fact that just as young people want to be a part of the group, they also have a strong need for autonomy.  They want to be seen as individuals.  They want to assert themselves.  Therefore, tell them that they always need to establish their individuality, and they can do so without offending classmates or losing friends.  It’s all a matter of style.  Suggest they say simply, ”Nope, I’m not interested” or “That’s not my style” or “That’s not for me.”  Also tell them to add “No thanks,” nobody should be offended. Read More…

What parents want from student assessment

Resent research reveals that parents and educators would like to see a wider variety of school assessments that go beyond the standardized assessments currently used in schools.  They would like to see a wider range of skills and subjects tested as well as including 21st century skills,problem solving and critical thinking.

The data from this research suggests that we could be doing a better job of designing and using assessments to inform instruction and foster student achievement.

Teachers surveyed said that individual student performance and personalized learning are among their top priorities.  Monitoring individual student performance, monitoring growth in learning over time, providing extra support in classrooms, identifying student’s strengths and weakness and planning differentiated instruction are the top goals of assessment.

Parents and teachers alike, agree that formative assessment is extremely or very useful in using assessment to improve content mastery in the classroom.  The report revealed that teachers value daily or weekly feedback to track progress and provide feedback to students.

As we move to the Common Core standards, we will continue to see changes in what and how we monitor and acess student learning. The use of technology in the classroom as an means of delivering content and also as a means for formative and summative assessment will continue to develop over time.  It is indeed a magical time to be an educator, if only we embrace the possibilities before us.

“Spreak Out” for Right & Wrong!

It is hard to determine right from wrong in today’s world.  It seems that everyone has his or her own, and usually different, morality. i call it situational morality. I really struggle with the things I hear from people, young and old alike.   The ideas they have as to what is acceptable behavior are more and more being shaped by the music we listen to, our favorite movie stars, politicians, other government officials, shows on television and the actions of their peers at work or at school.  I am sometimes discouraged,  and feel it is a loosing battle to speak up for what is the “right thing to do” because it is often the hard thing to do.

Our children want to fit into our world.  It is comfortable to be socially acceptable.  Our public schools, newspapers, television reporters, and our political leaders proclaim the value of accepting all people regardless of their morality, regardless of how they treat others and regardless if they are truthful.  It amazes me that people can say anything they want to say and no one ever vets what they say for accuracy.   It is universally accepted that we should “do the right thing.”  But it is confusing to determine what “the right thing” is.

At times people seem to manufacture morality.  I think that the students in our schools hear the right things from us but also hear the various proclamations of what others view as right, and become confused.  Because there are so many options for morality, sometimes they make their own rules or concepts of right and wrong.   Our world shouts, “Don’t be so narrow minded” if we speak out against what we feel is wrong.

There is so much in our world that we must condemn, violence towards our fellow human beings, stealing, cheating, verbal and physical abuse, substance abuse, promiscuity, and a myriad of other behaviors that are becoming more socially acceptable depending on the situation. Still many of these beliefs are  never challenged, on television, in movies, but instead are glorified in music and in other places in our community.

As with Martin Luther, who spoke unpopular facts, is vital that in school classrooms, in our families, and with those we come into contact with, that we speak up for the beliefs that our nation were founded on.  We need to arm our children with the truth.  The only way we can do that is to work together, school, families, parents, and other  community members, to teach children what is right.  Children at times will question what is acceptable behavior because they are conditioned by the morality of our society to do so.   Not everything and everyone is good.  We must teach our children to avoid those things.   We must teach our children what is right and then we must model appropriate attitudes and behaviors in our everyday lives.

 

Children Need to feel Loved and Appreciated

 
Former president Jimmy Carter was seventy years old when he wrote this poem about his father:
This is a pain I mostly hide,
 but ties of blood, or seed endure,
and even now I feel inside
the hunger for his outstretched hand,
a man’s embrace to take me in,
the need for just a word of praise.
 
 
 
Isn’t it extraordinary that even after a life of monumental achievements, Mr. Carter still feels pain when he thinks of his father who either could not feel or would not express love and approval. Unfortunately, there are lots of people in Mr. Carter’s shoes, left with bitter feelings and enduring wounds inflicted by their parents.
 
Yet not all bad parents are bad people. Caring parents can unintentionally injure children through excessive harshness or permissiveness or through well-intended criticism and advice that comes out as relentless disapproval or oppressive negativity. Kids not only need to know they’re loved; they need to feel worthy of our love. They need to be valued not simply because they’re ours, but because of who (who’s) they are.
 
It’s never too late to try to fix whatever is broken:
  1. Consider expressing caring, pride and approval more lavishly and often.
  2. Be less critical, more helpful, less controlling.
  3. Set aside your need to be right, be less self-righteous and more respectful to the people you love.
  4. Be sincerely accountable and genuinely apologize even if whatever you do may not be enough.
It’s not always possible to fix things that are broken, but it’s worth a try.  Remember the promise of EASTER, the promise that the Lord has paid the price for our imperfections.  

UNDER ACHIEVERS: Do you have one in your family?

An UNDER ACHIEVER, just what is that?  Do you have one in your immediate family, classroom, or perhaps your extended family?  A typical under achiever has academic ability and is not working up to their ability level.  Every classroom has one.  In my personal family I definitely have a child that meets the criteria of an UNDER ACHIEVER.  We recognize as parents and teachers that the child definitely knows, and is learning more than their school efforts indicate.  Typically these children have high SAT scores, and may also have high IQ’s but they miss assignments, do the work poorly, and the grades on their report cards are low.  What are we to do as parents?  What can teachers do?

Dr. Dobson offered this advice to parents on students that are under achievers. There are three things you can try:

  1.  These students are usually poorly organized; work with your child on getting them organized. Set up an organizational procedure that will work for your child.  Their desks are often disorderly, they cannot find the work they have done, or they simply cannot remember what it is they need to do.
  2. Stay in close contact with your child’s teacher, monitor your child’s work on a nightly basis checking for completeness and also making sure it gets in the back packed for school tomorrow.  Setting aside regular homework times at home and working with your child may improve their school performance.
  3. Get a tutor for your child in subjects that they are deficient in. The one on one interaction this provides may make a difference in your child’s performance.

He then told the parents that following the three steps above will work for some children, but not all.  If it doesn’t work  for their  child they will have to live with the fact that this is the way their child is.  He encouraged the parents to love their child and work within their abilities.

As the superintendent of Grace Lutheran School, I know how hard we work, teachers, parents, principal and students to help each of our children be all that they can be.  As teachers we need to support the parents, and as parents we need to support the teachers.  The more we learn about children the more we realize the how unique the Lord has created each of them.

COMMENTARY: Teach Or Punish, That Is the Question

As Greg paces the floor, waiting for his 17-year-old daughter Sandy to return from a school event, he feels two conflicting emotions: fear and anger. Fear that something terrible has happened to her. Anger because he thinks his fear is probably unfounded and Sandy is not hurt, simply irresponsible.

Finally, Sandy calls. She’s all right. She just lost track of time. Greg’s fear disappears, but his anger grows.

The love that motivated his worry is overwhelmed by a growing sense of outrage. He begins to rehearse what he will say and what punishment he will inflict. Unless he intercepts his anger, it can easily turn to rage, an emotion likely to produce foolishly impulsive conduct that’s likely to alienate Sandy and widen the rift between them.

Here’s the character challenge: Can Greg stop his runaway train of anger long enough to think about his objectives? His immediate goal is to vent his fury and frustration and teach Sandy a lesson. His long-term goals are to strengthen — not weaken — his relationship with his daughter and to help her become more responsible and respectful.

If Greg stops and thinks about his broader goals, he will want to turn this event into a positive teaching moment. To do that, he will have to choose his words and tone carefully.

Good managers don’t yell at or demean employees because it would be ineffective and unethical. Parents have no less of a duty to be tactful and respectful when dealing with their children.

From Michael Josephson- Character Counts

Would You Do It if It Were On TV?

Matt, an eighth grade teacher, was in a huge hurry. With guests arriving at his home shortly he had a small list of things to buy. With 14 items in his basket he decided to chance it and use the “10 Items or Less” express line.

Matt’s heart pounded when he saw Phil, one of his students, come toward him. Matt talks a lot about honesty and ethics and, as he feared, Phil was all too happy to catch him doing something wrong. Sure enough, with a big “gotcha” smile Phil loudly proclaimed, “You have too many items. That’s cheating.”

On the scale of moral transgressions misusing the express line is a misdemeanor. But the inconsistency between Matt’s words and actions can, nevertheless, seriously undermine his message about the importance of ethics and his personal credibility. Whether he’s officially “on duty” or not, a teacher is expected to set a good example. It’s the same for all people in authority including parents and bosses. And when they fail to do so there are consequences.

Read More…

The Importance of Social Media in School Communication

Have you embraced the Social Media world?  Are you a nay sayer… saying things like “it’s for people that don’t want to speak with people face to face.” Or maybe you feel like your school does an awesome job communicating with parents and students via your weekly newsletter, E-newsletter or classroom web pages.  Well, you couldn’t be more wrong.  Social Media is here to stay, “adapt or die”.  Social Media, Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Google+, YouTube, WordPress and more is about more than marketing and branding.  it’s quickly becoming an essential part of customer outreach for not only businesses, brands but for schools.

 

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Five Pearls of Wisdom for Teens

Today’s blog post is dedicated to the young men and women of our middle school here at Grace, Huntington Beach.  I am proud of the fine Christian young adults you are becoming.  Continue to trust in the Lord and He will guide your steps.

Why can’t kids be more like us? This old refrain is usually uttered in frustration over the unwillingness of “kids today” to respect our advice. We seem to forget how we, too, ignored our elders knowing that they didn’t understand the world we lived in. Still, I hope some teen will appreciate these five pearls of wisdom.

First, while it’s natural to want to feel special, self-conscious attempts to dress and behave in extreme ways to establish your identity will hide rather than reveal the true uniqueness within you. Your precious personhood, the things most admirable and lovable about you, is found in your character not your image.

Second, don’t run from responsibility. Run toward it. The sooner you become visibly responsible the sooner you will be authentically independent and free.

Third, if you want to be happy, fight tendencies toward selfishness. Selfishness is a dark and lonely dungeon. People who think only of themselves place too much value on short-lived sensations of pleasure and fun and too little on finding a life with purpose and meaning.

Fourth, work on your relationships through trust, respect and kindness. The surest road to a good life is through the love of family and friends.

Author Unknown

Fifth, be a good sport about life. Learn to accept disappointments and failures with optimism and your accomplishments with grace. No one gets everything they want and you don’t need to have everything to have enough.

Can I Borrow $100?

Todd wasn’t surprised that his dad didn’t make it to the last soccer game of the season. After all, his father was a very important attorney who worked most weekends and they had talked about it. Todd was ten and he was old enough to understand about priorities. Still, it made him sad.

So that night Todd interrupted his father’s work to ask him how much lawyers cost. Annoyed, his father said, “Well, people pay me $300 an hour.” Todd gasped, and said, “Can I borrow $100?” “Don’t be silly,” was the answer and Todd ran to his room.

Moments later, the father felt guilty and found his son sobbing. “Son,” he said, “I’m sorry I was so impatient. Can I ask why you need $100?” “Well, with the $200 I’ve saved I’ll have enough.” “Enough for what?” Todd said proudly, “Daddy, would you sell me an hour of your time so you can come to the awards banquet on Friday?”

Most overworked parents are not uncaring. They’re simply stretched to their limit trying to do the best they can to find a proper balance between the insatiable demands of their jobs, the responsibility of earning a living and the emotional needs of their children.

The conflict never goes away and it forces us to determine priorities. There are lots of reasons to do otherwise, but if we don’t arrange our lives to be there for our children they will regret it — and, after it’s too late, so will we.

This story is adapted from one that has circulated on the Internet without attribution. The original source is unknown.

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