parental involvement in school

Teaching our older children winning ways to say no to peers

The word no often seems to be one of the first words out of the mouths of young children. In fact, parents may hear the word no far earlier and far more often than they prefer.  But as children grow older and want to fit in and belong with other children, they may continue to say no to adults, but have increasing difficulty saying no to their peers.

Many young people feel tremendous peer pressure on a wide front.  That’s why saying no to their peers is not a simple matter for them.  They may fear that they will be rejected or branded in negative ways if they do.  As parents, teachers, and other caring adults we need to give students some strategies for saying no, and suggest appealing and convincing words they can use in the various situations they face.

First, capitalize on the fact that just as young people want to be a part of the group, they also have a strong need for autonomy.  They want to be seen as individuals.  They want to assert themselves.  Therefore, tell them that they always need to establish their individuality, and they can do so without offending classmates or losing friends.  It’s all a matter of style.  Suggest they say simply, ”Nope, I’m not interested” or “That’s not my style” or “That’s not for me.”  Also tell them to add “No thanks,” nobody should be offended. Read More…

“Spreak Out” for Right & Wrong!

It is hard to determine right from wrong in today’s world.  It seems that everyone has his or her own, and usually different, morality. i call it situational morality. I really struggle with the things I hear from people, young and old alike.   The ideas they have as to what is acceptable behavior are more and more being shaped by the music we listen to, our favorite movie stars, politicians, other government officials, shows on television and the actions of their peers at work or at school.  I am sometimes discouraged,  and feel it is a loosing battle to speak up for what is the “right thing to do” because it is often the hard thing to do.

Our children want to fit into our world.  It is comfortable to be socially acceptable.  Our public schools, newspapers, television reporters, and our political leaders proclaim the value of accepting all people regardless of their morality, regardless of how they treat others and regardless if they are truthful.  It amazes me that people can say anything they want to say and no one ever vets what they say for accuracy.   It is universally accepted that we should “do the right thing.”  But it is confusing to determine what “the right thing” is.

At times people seem to manufacture morality.  I think that the students in our schools hear the right things from us but also hear the various proclamations of what others view as right, and become confused.  Because there are so many options for morality, sometimes they make their own rules or concepts of right and wrong.   Our world shouts, “Don’t be so narrow minded” if we speak out against what we feel is wrong.

There is so much in our world that we must condemn, violence towards our fellow human beings, stealing, cheating, verbal and physical abuse, substance abuse, promiscuity, and a myriad of other behaviors that are becoming more socially acceptable depending on the situation. Still many of these beliefs are  never challenged, on television, in movies, but instead are glorified in music and in other places in our community.

As with Martin Luther, who spoke unpopular facts, is vital that in school classrooms, in our families, and with those we come into contact with, that we speak up for the beliefs that our nation were founded on.  We need to arm our children with the truth.  The only way we can do that is to work together, school, families, parents, and other  community members, to teach children what is right.  Children at times will question what is acceptable behavior because they are conditioned by the morality of our society to do so.   Not everything and everyone is good.  We must teach our children to avoid those things.   We must teach our children what is right and then we must model appropriate attitudes and behaviors in our everyday lives.

 

UNDER ACHIEVERS: Do you have one in your family?

An UNDER ACHIEVER, just what is that?  Do you have one in your immediate family, classroom, or perhaps your extended family?  A typical under achiever has academic ability and is not working up to their ability level.  Every classroom has one.  In my personal family I definitely have a child that meets the criteria of an UNDER ACHIEVER.  We recognize as parents and teachers that the child definitely knows, and is learning more than their school efforts indicate.  Typically these children have high SAT scores, and may also have high IQ’s but they miss assignments, do the work poorly, and the grades on their report cards are low.  What are we to do as parents?  What can teachers do?

Dr. Dobson offered this advice to parents on students that are under achievers. There are three things you can try:

  1.  These students are usually poorly organized; work with your child on getting them organized. Set up an organizational procedure that will work for your child.  Their desks are often disorderly, they cannot find the work they have done, or they simply cannot remember what it is they need to do.
  2. Stay in close contact with your child’s teacher, monitor your child’s work on a nightly basis checking for completeness and also making sure it gets in the back packed for school tomorrow.  Setting aside regular homework times at home and working with your child may improve their school performance.
  3. Get a tutor for your child in subjects that they are deficient in. The one on one interaction this provides may make a difference in your child’s performance.

He then told the parents that following the three steps above will work for some children, but not all.  If it doesn’t work  for their  child they will have to live with the fact that this is the way their child is.  He encouraged the parents to love their child and work within their abilities.

As the superintendent of Grace Lutheran School, I know how hard we work, teachers, parents, principal and students to help each of our children be all that they can be.  As teachers we need to support the parents, and as parents we need to support the teachers.  The more we learn about children the more we realize the how unique the Lord has created each of them.

Parent and Teachers: The Ultimate Partnership

I firmly believe that one of the most important ingredients for a positive educational experience for a child is the home/school connection. Thinking about what it takes to build a strong connection between home and school, three prerequisites come to mind, Respect, Humility, and Partnership.

Respect. Effective school programs require mutual respect of parents and teachers.  If teachers see parents and other caregivers, grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, guardians, and family friends, as ill-informed and in capable, the home to school relationship will be demeaning and apathetic.

Likewise, if parents see teachers and school staff, principals, para-eduatiors, and daycare workers as self-centered instead of student-centered, they will perceive the home to school relationship as bureaucratic efforts to keep parents in their “place.”

Read More…

Thanks for Telling Me the Truth, Dad – Middle Grades are Hard

Jenny was 14 and miserable. Her freckles and braces were bad enough but now her face was breaking out. Her dad saw her looking in the mirror and sobbing. She was in such pain. He stayed up all night writing a note he slipped under her door.

“I wish I could tell you everything is all right,” he wrote, “but I know it isn’t because you’re genuinely unhappy. I wish I could tell you that looks don’t matter and that everyone will see the incredibly beautiful person inside, but at your age it does matter.”

Read More…

Stressing Quite Time: How to rid your family of stress

One of the discussion topics for our professional development meetings was addressing the stress we are seeing in our children.  Increasingly we are finding that our children are over committed to activities both at school and outside of school.  We are beginning to see that we need to equip our students to deal with the stress an active life style is creating. Coping with the demands of work, school, and other activities can put a great deal of stress on family members.

But there are ways that parents can manage their own stress and also minimize the negative effects of stress on the entire family, according to the Duke University Health System.

Read More…

The Role Parental Expectations Play in Student Achievement!

As parents, you can easily become frustrated when you feel that your child isn’t successful in school. As educators we share and understand that frustration. Teachers sometimes feel it, too. Yet, rather than just assume a child could do better, we know it’s best to seek out, by all means possible, exactly what each child is capable of doing.

We know that children can live up or down to adults’ expectations. If we say to a child, “I know that you can’t possibly do better,” we are telling him or her to give up. On the other hand, if we set unrealistic goals for a child and he or she tries hard, yet fails, we can do some real damage to that child.

Read More…

Student Achievement through Parental Involvement

In every child’s life there are two main educators, their parents and their teachers. Educational research consistently shows that parental involvement is the number one factor in student achievement through the school years and beyond.  Several studies show a positive correlation between increases in parental involvement in elementary and middle school years and increased student achievement.

Children who have actively engaged parents tend to have higher overall academic achievement, increased motivation, better self-esteem, fewer behavior problems, fewer absences, higher graduation rates. Research also shows that a home environment that supports and encourages learning is even more important than the parents’ income, educational level, or cultural background.

Read More…

What Parents Want from Schools?

When talking with parents about what brought them to our school a couple of common themes are wanting that feeling of community, that creates a safe and nurturing environment and at the same time offers a quality education. They are also almost always interested in class size.  They feel that the smaller class size offers more time for the teacher to focus on individual students, and have more time to get to know students better. One of my observations has been that the closer student centered environment allows students to more intimate bonds that last a lifetime.

In addition private schools have the ability to make decisions based on the needs of their students rather than on what the school district, state or federal government philosophies dictate.  Private schools are less focused on test results only, using them as on measurement of students success.  This focus allows private school more time to focus on liberal studies in the fine arts including music, art, foreign language, as well as focusing on critical thinking, collaboration, and technological applications.

Read More…

 Scroll to top